


Where No Wind Blows

by alkjira



Series: Up Into The Silence [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Female Kíli, Gen, Gender Identity, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, Reincarnation, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 13:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2430272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fíli is not blond, Kíli is the older one. Have the world gone entirely mad?<br/>Well, no, because they're still together.</p><p>Part of a series, but those other parts feature other characters and are not required reading for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where No Wind Blows

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, this is officially a series now. So with my usual (slightly faster than glacial) pace, expect to see the others as well in other stories.

Kíli blinked at Fíli, her eyes sweeping over the familiar, but at the same time not, features and-

"You're not blond."

The smile Kíli received for that comment was nothing like Fíli's and everything like Fíli's at the same time, and for a moment the strangeness of it all made her head spin.  
  
Was it really Fíli? Was it- The last time she’d seen him-  
  
"But you're still as observant, I see." Fíli paused for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was unsure. His eyes were still blue, but not the same blue. “ _Kíli_?”

As Kíli shouted from sheer joy and threw her arms around her brother Fíli laughed and hugged back just as tightly as he was being squeezed, meaning that both of them quickly acquired breathing difficulties.  
  
For a moment Kíli’s thoughts flashed back to when they’d last been together, and how her chest had ached and burned as the ground turned red beneath them both, but such thoughts were banished as Fíli sneezed; Kíli’s curly red hair tickling his nose.  
  
"Brother," Kíli whispered, the slim, body in her arms nothing like the solid muscle some part of her was expecting, but she knew that when she looked in a mirror she wouldn’t be the same either. It didn’t matter. "My brother."  
  
"My sister," Fíli whispered back, then his arms relaxed a little. "Or... brother?"  
  
Kíli thought for a moment. "Sister," she concluded, tightening her own arms. As Fíli squeezed her tighter again, Kíli pressed her lips to the side of Fíli’s head, to the hair that was definitely not blond, and which wouldn’t be blond even when the blue dye washed out. "But yours, always."  
  
“Kíli,” Fíli whispered. “How- we’re _back_.”  
  
“I’m not sure if we’re back,” Kíli said, thinking about talking Eagles, and Elves and Dragons. “But we’re… here. I guess. And together.”  
  
“Always,” Fíli promised.

-

"Have the children been fighting?" Magnus asked, a note of concern in his voice.  
  
Lena looked out the window to where their girls, no their girl and  _boy_ , were sitting together beneath the oak tree, arms around each other.  
  
Boy.  _Son_. Not daughter, Lena told herself as she looked on what little she could see of Viv’s blue hair sticking up over Erica’s shoulder. _His_ hair.  
  
She didn't want to see the look in Viv's eyes if she accidentally used the wrong word again. Magnus didn't have any problem remembering, and Lena told herself not to be mean. It wasn't because he'd always wanted a son. He was- even before Viv had said anything he’d known about it.  
  
He’d tried to tell her, but… she could admit that she hadn’t really wanted to listen. She hadn’t wanted her little girl to have to go through something like that, because no matter how much times and opinions changed it never seemed to be quite enough. But she didn't love her little girl any less just because she was now her little boy. Erica and Viv were still her babies. No matter what, and no matter how old they got.  
   
Besides, when had their children ever decided to do something the easy way? They’d not even been born when they’d started on that route, deciding to arrive two whole months earlier than they should have.

"If they have I guess they've made up?” Lena said, smiling slightly as Viv swatted the back of Erica’s head before hugging her again. “Unless Viv is planning on subtly strangling Erica with hugs."  
  
"Subtly? From one of our kids? Then I'd start looking for the aliens."   
  
As Magnus slid his arm around her waist Lena signed and leaned into him.  
  
“Why did you think they’d been fighting?”  
  
“I thought I heard someone yell, and-“ Magnus shrugged. “Viv’s not that big on touching you know, so if he’s volunteering for hugging, even with Erica, I thought maybe they’d had a fight about something.”

-

"I'm older than you now," Kíli crowed triumphantly.   
  
"Less than a minute," Fíli said drily. "And you've held that over my head long as it is already, you're not allowed to start that again. Hey," Fíli realised, eyes growing wide. "I'm  _taller_ than you."  
  
"Then you're not allowed to start that!"

-

“I like having happy kids,” Magnus said as the sound of laughter drifted in from outside.  
  
They’d moved away from the window to give their children some privacy, and he tugging playfully at Lena’s hair, letting the red curls coil around his fingers. “Could we write the Prime Minster and get some law put in place or something?”  
  
Lena chuckled. “I think they’re still mulling over the letter you wrote about everything wrong with the school system.”  
  
“Still waiting for them to call me.”  
  
“Sure you are, sweetie. And I'm sure it'll happen _any_ day now.”  
  
"I feel the love. I do."  
  
-

"What are we going to do about,” Kíli hesitated and jerked her head towards the house, curls bouncing. “Them.”

"They think they're our parents,” Fíli sighed. “What can we do.”  
  
"They are our parents. Sort of. I'm, it's not like I've forgotten the last 17 years. Or um, 13? Because I guess I don’t remember the first-"

"They're nice people.” Fíli’s tone was flat, and Kíli frowned.  
  
"Fíli?"  
  
"I- I don't think I can pretend that everything is the same.” Fíli snorted and looked down at his right hand which was busy tearing tuft after tuft of grass from the ground. “Nothing is the same, so pretending would be stupid anyway, but-“  
  
“Some things are the same,” Kíli said and put her hand on Fíli’s. “We’re, we’ve got each other.”  
  
“Yes,” Fíli agreed, turning his hand until they were palm to palm so they could lace their fingers together.  
  
"You don't think they could _really_ be our parents?" Kíli asked quietly.  
  
Fíli shook his head. “It’s- No, I don’t think so.”  
  
“Yeah,” Kíli sighed. “Me neither. But- do you think they’re here too, somewhere? And Thorin, and- and everyone?”  
  
“Maybe? Because, why just us?”  
  
“I don’t even understand why us in the first place.”  
  
“Mmm.”  
  
Kíli looked up at the blue sky. At least that looked seemed to be the same. Would the stars be the same too?  
  
-

"What do you think they are talking about?” Lena asked, half-hidden by the curtains as she peeked out through the window. “They've been sitting still so long, and they don't even have their mobiles, I don't like it. They’re never still like that."  
  
"Careful what you wish for?" Magnus said and arched his eyebrow. “Stop stalking our children. Maybe they're just taking a page from Ferdinand the Bull's book and have decided to just smell the flowers for a while.”

"What if something is wrong?” Lena asked. “What if someone is being cruel to Viv. Teenagers can-"

"Lena-“ Magnus put down the book she’d been reading. “You’ve told me more than once how we raised smart kids. They know they can talk to us about anything, and I like to think they usually do. Why are you so worried now?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Lena said, hugging her arms around her waist. “I just have this feeling.”  
  
“Want to go out and talk to them. Warn them about possible bumblebees?”  
  
Lena wavered. “No,” she finally decided. “You’re right, I’m being silly.”  
  
“I never said you were silly.” Putting the book away Magnus patted his lap and waggled his eyebrows. “What do you say, if they’re going to stay outside all day…”  
  
“We’re not having a quickie on the couch,” Lena protested.  
  
“A slowy?”  
  
“Now who is being silly.”

-

  
"Is this why you've not been happy being a girl?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
“It started before you remembered though, right?”  
  
“I didn’t remember until just now, you moron. Same as you did, so of course.”  
  
“Don’t call me a moron.”  
  
Fíli held up his hands, fingers spred apart and waved them at Kíli. "Want to find out if you're ticklish in all the same places as before?"

 -  
  
Raised voiced from outside made Magnus stick his head up over the back of the couch.  
  
“That was _laughter_ ,” Lena pointed out, smiling up at him. “Who’s an overprotective parent now, eh?”

-  
  
Now lying on the ground, Fíli turned to face Kíli. “But you-“ Fíli pressed his hand to his chest, a chest which wouldn’t be nearly as flat without the help of his binder. “You’re okay being like this?”  
  
“I still remember how it was before but it’s like…” Kíli searched for the right words. “It’s not like a dream, but it’s like… I remember being seven, and that was still me, even if I didn’t look like I do now. And this is me too. And that was me then. And even if I wasn’t always like this I'll always be me. _But_ -“ Kíli added when she saw Fíli’s face fall a little. “That doesn’t mean you have to feel the same way. You idiot.”  
  
“Don’t call me an idiot.”  
  
“Then don’t call me a moron.” Kíli poked her brother in the stomach. “If you’re going to get all emo I will have to remind you that you angsted enough about your parts even before you knew you previously had lived a life as a male Dwarf, and that sentence is just too weird to ever be repeated and I hope to hell no neighbours are nearby to eavesdrop.”  
  
After that they just _were_ for a while, watching the cloud slowly trot by in the sky.  
  
“Fíli?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I just realised that they’d at least understand if you say you wanted to change your name.”  
  
“Not if I say I want to change it to Fíli. I don’t think that’s even a real name.”  
  
“Filip?”  
  
Fíli made a face. “Then Viv’s still better. I kinda like it, in a way. It’s still- well, it’s _my_ name. Only it’s not. But-“

“I know what you mean.” Kíli hummed to herself. “I think the odds of convincing people that Kíli is a nickname for Erica are pretty slim though. Maybe if I go to University abroad or something…”  
  
“You, still want to do that?”  
  
Kíli huffed out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. But- If the others are here too, then we need to go places, to try and find them. Earth is a big place.”  
  
“There’s the internet?”  
  
“Sorry, but I can’t even imagine uncle in a car, much less using Google.”  
  
“Nori would probably like it.”  
  
“If Nori isn’t a computer hacker I will be very disappointed.”  
  
-  
  
Cheeks flushed and hair a mess Lena pushed at Magnus’ shoulders. “Stop, or relocate to the bedroom.”  
  
“I’ll write a note in case they come in and tell them there’s ice cream in the fridge?”  
  
“One day they’re going to be too old to be distracted with ice cream.”  
  
“Blashpemy, woman.”  
  
-  
  
“Whatever happens, we’ll be together, right?”  
  
“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had no idea how to tag Fíli's struggle with gender. FtM is only sort of correct, it was more suited to before he remembered, and MtFtM I think is not really a thing? Because real life and reincarnation issues... well...
> 
> Hence, merely having 'Gender Identity'. Any better suggestions you know where to find me.
> 
> Oh, and Viv is short for Vivianne. But they're going with the shorter version since a while back as that's decidedly more gender neutral.


End file.
